Monday, October 25, 2010

Precious Life

I learned that a college friend went from here to eternity today. Twenty-eight years old. Full of life. Passionate. Lover of God. Lover of people. Adventurous. Vibrant. Joyful. Young. You expect to read news of an engagement or relationship, perhaps a new baby on the way. Death is not the news you expect to read.

Tragedy strikes when we least expect it. Tragedy is not something for which we plan or prepare. It seems trite to say that tragedy is simply part of life. Unfortunately, it is the truth. We live in a broken world, full of disease, accidents, strife, and war. We live day by day. We learn how to make tomorrow better than yesterday and trust that God has a plan.

While Praise was not one of my close friends, her love for life was evident from every word posted and picture shared. She was passionate about living fully and loving completely. She shared true joy with every person she met and truly left a legacy of love around the world.

The news of Praise's death made the fragility of life all too real. Today is the day to live life fully. Tomorrow is never a guarantee. My life is blessed. I am surrounded by amazing people. I am successful at my work. I am planted in a church family and am learning to use my gifts day after day. I am alive and breathing and that is a precious, precious gift.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Definitely. Maybe. Not sure. Perhaps?

Uncertainty...makes me feel, well, uncertain. I know, I know. I'm brilliant. I have my moments. In all seriousness, that is exactly how it makes me feel. The ground beneath me shifts, ever so slightly, and my hands search for something solid to grasp. It's like walking through my house in the pitch black. I know my house. I know what to expect. I know when to turn the corner or what furniture to avoid. My confidence disappears as soon as the lights go out. I find myself walking, no, shuffling with my arms sweeping from side to side to ward off offending furniture or the unseen wall. What should be familiar becomes foreign. It's not a feeling I enjoy.

Today I feel like I am taking a step into the unknown in a world that is all too familiar. I'm sure that makes no sense at all. My world, my job, my church...none of it is changing. Wait. It is all changing. Some of the changes are subtle. Some huge. But no matter how small the change, the accompanying angst and uncertainty are significant.

A few weeks ago, a friend that was returning to choir after a significant break said something brilliant. Change is difficult, but growth demands it. We always question change. We try to avoid it. We insist it is not necessary. In fact, we sometimes stay in painful or destructive circumstances because we fear what change will demand of us. Our choice to remain stagnant then begins to pull us step after step backwards. What was familiar now becomes hostile. What was comfortable morphs into the very thing that causes the most pain.

But growth demands it. The real question remains, Do I want to grow? Do I want to see dreams become reality? Do I want to visit places I've not yet been? Experience life to the fullest? Move from milk to solid food?

My growth demands change. It's uncomfortable. It's uncertain. It's painful at times. It most often makes no sense. My vision may be a tad blurry at the moment. However, the clarity that comes when the growing pains cease is worth it all.