I discovered something this morning. I was relaxing at home, getting ready to watch one of my Bath and Body Works girls on Price Is Right, when the world went silent. More accurately, the TV did. And the fan. And the million other little noises that fill the silence. Suddenly I was left in silence and all I could think of was how to fill it.
My world is polluted with sound. Even if the TV is off and there is no music playing, the dog next door is yapping or the baby on the other side is crying. I work in a busy mall with constant talking and laughing and music. Noise is the soundtrack of my life.
At some point, the soundtrack started to drown out the dialogue...my inner dialogue. My conversations with God. My daydreams. My self-evaluations. Was it intentional? Am I running for the silence? Or is the silence just escaping my grip?
I would like to claim innocence. Life is just happening and the noise comes with it. I have no choice in the matter. Unfortunately, that would be a lie. I flood my life with sound when I should be hitting mute. I turn on the TV for background noise when I am cooking or eating or writing...the list goes on. I rarely drive in silence. Instead music is blasting to distract me from the traffic. There's always a fan going to provide the necessary white noise. I'm overwhelmed by the silence. My mind starts to wander and I once again revert to noise.
A friend's Facebook status last week caught my attention. "Be still and know that He is God. What has to change in your life for you to be still?" Apparently, I have to get sick. You would think I would learn the lesson already. Be still, Kristin. Forget the noise. Forget the distractions. Be still. Instead I get hit with a cold and literally end up in bed all day. Still I opt for a movie to fill the empty space.
Why do I run from the quiet? Why am I more at home in a room so loud you can't hear yourself think than I am in the calm of my room? It's in the stillness that truth is revealed. It's in the quiet moments, the moments free of distraction, that dreams are built. It's in the silence that I hear that still, small voice beckoning me closer. Drawing me deep into His arms. Whispering His words. Singing His lullaby.
The reality is that life is full of noise. I cannot escape the everyday sounds, the music of the world around me. You will not see me wearing earplugs to silence the world around me. I will however embrace the moments. I will allow myself the luxury of complete silence and be amazed at how much I can hear.
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