Flying High

Life is amazing. More accurately, God is amazing. It never fails to amaze me that God is actually concerned about my life. And by concerned, I do not mean watching from a distance. Bette Midler may have incredible vocal ability, but her theology is seriously lacking. My God is intricately involved in every single aspect of my life, whether I see His hand moving or not. My God is like a composer...playing out every note, every possible modulation, every dynamic change, every harmony until the combination of random marks on a page is truly a masterpiece. Something that will make the world stop and take notice. Something that will tug at the heartstrings of His audience. A masterpiece that lets the world know He is real.

These past few months have been filled with some pretty significant life changes. I took a giant leap of faith. I felt God telling me to jump and I trusted Him. I argued with Him at first. I told Him He was crazy and apparently had no idea the severity of the economic climate in California. I told Him I had a good job that paid the bills and that I could go to daily without dread. Still He said, "Jump, Kristin. Trust Me and jump." So I did. As soon as I took the step off the edge, He brought confirmation that I was in the right place, that I heard His voice, that I was right where He wanted me to be. My God knows me well and understands how quickly doubt can creep in and suck the life out of all faith growing in my heart. I turned my notice into my job and immediately felt overwhelming peace. Quiet assurance that my God provides, that my God sees, that my God cares, and that my God has it all figured out.

Pretty soon after I put in my notice, I reconnected with an incredible guy that has completely captured my heart. A relationship was completely unexpected...something I wanted but did not see coming in the near future. I am overwhelmed and completely amazed...in all good ways. I turned 30. I've been told that the 30s are the best years. So far, I completely agree. I'm currently unemployed. My job let me go before I planned on leaving. This past Friday was my last day. Some may wonder why I'm not completely freaking out and stressed beyond belief. Frankly, I wonder as well. I feel like I should be stressing more. I should be more scared about the future. I should be absolutely freaking out. So many changes in such little time...yet the peace remains.

It was no surprise to God that my time at BBW was cut short. It is no surprise to God that the job market is not ideal right now. It is no surprise to Him that job searching completely overwhelms me. Nothing surprises Him. That is why I can sit here with peace. My God provides. My God sees. My God cares. My God has it all figured out.

Music...the soul soother

There's something truly magical about music. Actually, let me rephrase that. There's something spiritual about music. Music reaches pieces of the soul that would otherwise remain untouched. It soothes spirits. It brings calm to chaos. It heals the broken heart. It celebrates the best of life and brings beauty to the worst in life. I simply cannot imagine a life without the beauty music brings.

I've been enjoying some good music lately courtesy of Adele and am feeling thankful that people share their talents with the world. Imagine if Beethoven decided the hard work was not worth what he would gain. Imagine if Duke Ellington or Louis Armstrong allowed the prejudices of their day to dictate their accomplishments. Imagine if the Beatles had decided Decca Records executives were right and abandoned music. There are countless others who decided it was worth it...the tears, struggles, hours of work and practice, the rejection...And because of them, millions have been inspired to contribute to the soundtrack of life.

I for one am forever grateful.

Jehovah-Jireh, My Provider

I'm facing a leap of faith...I believe God is asking me to do something that scares me. I don't feel prepared or ready for the change, but I believe God is asking me to just trust. Just trust. Sounds easy enough, right? Yeah. Not so much. I have never been a big planner. I have always wanted to be the person with the five-year plan; however, it's just never seemed to happen. I have always wished that I was the person that knew from the time she was two that she wanted to do something specific and follow a designated career path and be in that career till death. I spent years praying and seeking God for what I was supposed to do for the rest of my life. A specific answer has never ever come. There are things I'm great at, things I enjoy doing, even things I absolutely love. Still there has not been the one thing I simply must do...as a job that is.

I've learned that my life path might be different than I imagined. The dream career does not seem to hold the same appeal. Instead, I have come to realize that God is simply asking me to seek Him and follow hard after His heart. As I follow Him, He will create the road for me. There may be twists and turns along the way. I may have a rest stop that I stay at for one hour and some I stay at for a few years. But He's just asking me to follow and trust.

Just trusting is not necessarily the easiest thing for me. I get scared. I worry that I might take the leap and fall flat on my face. I have been there and done that and it is as painful as it looks. I have also taken the safe road. I have stayed when I knew leaving would be even better. Safe means a little more security and a bit less anxiety. Safe means being where everyone around me thinks a thirtysomething should be at this point in life. Safe means comfortable. But God is asking me to just trust.

In the just trusting, it is sometimes difficult to focus on the voice of God. The still, small voice gets swallowed up by the millions of others voicing their opinions or advice or words of caution. It gets difficult to remember what God said in the quiet moments. To hold onto the promise that He will provide. He has a plan. He knows what is just around the corner. We need gentle reminders.

A friend sent some of those reminders my way. I am literally surrounded by incredible people. Not just normal, good friends. I mean incredible people who speak life into me when I need it most. Who provide encouragement at just the right moment, the moment when you simply want to give in. Who pray for you when you have run out of your own words. Who speak God's promises over your life and equip you to do the same.

So here is me speaking God's promise of provision over my life.

Gen 22:14 And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-jireh: as it is said to this day, “In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.”

For those of you who don't know Abraham's story, here's the abridged version. Abraham and his wife Sarah were promised children. They were not promised a single child. They were told that their descendants would be as numerous as the stars. That is a lot of children. They served God and were faithful, yet they had moved past the prime child-bearing age. Sarah took matters into her own hands and gave her servant to Abraham. However, this son, Ishmael, was not the child promised by God. Instead of bringing joy and contentment, the birth of this son brought strife and jealousy. After it seemed like their chance at a family was long past, Sarah gave birth to a son, Isaac. As you can imagine, Isaac was the apple of his father's eye. He was the long-awaited promise in flesh and blood. He was proof to Abraham that God did in fact come through.

Abraham was relishing the fulfillment of his dream. All was well in his world, until God made a request. He asked Abraham to take Isaac, his only son, his pride and joy, to the mountain to worship and sacrifice him as a burnt offering. Abraham had spent nearly his entire life waiting for Isaac. He had wept tears of longing. He had based his entire life upon the fulfillment of this promise. And now God was asking him to give it all up. Just like that. Sacrifice your son. Give him up. Lay down your promise and bury your dream.

Abraham's response was simple. Obedience. He gathered the rope and the wood for the altar. He chose the servants to bring along for the journey. Then he brought his son. They reached the mountain that God pointed out to them and Abraham took only Isaac up the mountain with him. He said, "The boy and I will travel farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back." Perhaps he did not want the servants to try to talk him out of his obedience. He headed up that mountain with the intention of sacrificing his son. God, however, had other plans. His provision was released at the exact moment of greatest need.

Abraham was a man of faith. A commentary I was reading on this story said, "Faith had taught him not to argue, but to obey. He is sure that what God commands is good; that what he promises cannot be broken." Abraham believed God. He believed that God had promised generations through the promise of Isaac and that God would not break that promise. God would come through, some way, somehow.

That is exactly what God did for Abraham. God is a God who sees to it...He sees to it that His promises come true. Not just for Abraham, but for me. He is Jehovah-Jireh, MY Provider. He is the God who sees to ME. He sees to it that His dreams for me are fulfilled. He sees to it that my healing is provided for, my daily needs are supplied, and my future is secure.

Law of Love

I've been reading from the books of law in the Old Testament lately. Actually I've been highly entertained by the audio version from my amazing YouVersion app during my drives home from work. One of the actors that reads several chapters of Leviticus literally made me laugh out loud with his dramatic articulation. Now back to the point...If you haven't read from Leviticus lately, prepare yourself for some very specific rules and regulations. This is NOT a book to read while you are already sleepy. I can assure you, you may pass go and head directly to Dream Land. However boring or inapplicable the laws may be to us now, I am still amazed at how thoughtful our God is.

The Jews had been delivered from years of slavery and abuse. They were now a free people. They were now a force to be reckoned with...a huge group of people quickly growing into a powerful nation. However, God saw that their newfound freedom could easily evolve into a new form of slavery, slavery to foreign gods, to alien customs, to immorality. The list could go on. Therefore, the laws that God was communicating through Moses had a purpose. Their purpose was to protect the people of Israel and to give them the best possible life, full of growth and happiness and health. God is an amazing Father, always looking out for the best interest of His kids.

The laws and rules have changed a bit in our world. We have been set free from the regulations of the Law because of the sacrifice of a King. However, there are still rules to follow. Boundaries have been established. Lines have been drawn with clear instructions to stay on this side. The world may consider the Christian faith and immediately see only the "No" areas. We may get labeled as intolerant or old-fashioned or completely unrealistic. I admit, those thoughts have crossed my mind at times. I do not really enjoy being told "NO."
I try to make excuses or rationalize my way around the rules. I try to tell myself that the rule really doesn't apply to me or my situation. I am somehow different.

Lately, I have been feeling a bit differently. I have seen the results of what happens when we choose to walk outside God's boundary lines because we think the rules do not truly apply to us. The times where consequences do not follow are few and far between. Most often, I see tears and pain because of the fight to right what was wrong. I see families separated and torn apart. I see children hurt and abandoned. I see pain.

And I am reminded, my God is a good Father. He wants what is best for His kids, whether we realize we're His kids or not. He wants to protect us from the pain that will come from touching the hot stove or running into the street. He sees the results and simply wants better for us. He has come to bring us life and life abundant. If that means, I have to color inside the lines for a bit, so be it.

Work, work, and more work...

As most of you know (and by most, I mean the 2 people who read my blog), I'm a manager at Bath and Body Works. While I enjoy my job (for the most part) and love the people I get to work with, I can say with certainty that retail is not my calling for life. I started working at BBW nearly four years ago because I desperately needed a change from my previous job. I stepped into a completely foreign field to me and discovered that I enjoyed it and that I was good at it. For once I began to think that I may have found a career path. I could grow with the company. I could transfer to another region if I found a spot calling my name. I got days off within the week while the rest of the world was stuck at work. Every day was different, leaving me excited to see what the day would hold.

After four years, each day is still different. However, the excitement is harder to come by. I get frustrated that my schedule varies so differently from my friends. I feel like I'm missing out on so much of life cause of the ever-changing schedule. The days off in the middle of the week have lost their appeal. I must say, I would probably be able to do retail for life if it were Monday through Friday from 9 to 5. Some would say I have a problem with contentment. Perhaps I am looking for the perfect job that just does not exist. Or maybe my creative personality does not lend itself to a job that I will enjoy for the rest of my life. I have not yet decided.

What I currently know is that my God-given dream is worth fighting for. I may not know how the story unfolds, but I serve a God who will guide my every step. I used to think that I needed a word of knowledge or prophecy from someone "qualified" to truly confirm what I sense in my heart. Truth is, I'm a child of God and am just as qualified as the "prophet" on TV to speak positive and powerful things over my own life.
1) My temporary circumstances (uncertainty about the future, desire for something new, ministry, etc.) are not my forever.
2) My God may not give me all the answers when I think I need them, but His delay is not a denial. He will come through.
3) And the false evidence Satan continues to fling my way is not God's reality. There will always be people who want to kill the dreamer...the one who dares to believe Jesus meant it when He said He came to bring us life and more abundantly.

"There will come a day when the haters will have to bow to the dream." - Jentezen Franklin

Let me tell you about my sisters...

I have two sisters. One is 4 years older and one is 7 years younger. We've had our ups and downs. We've had our moments of hating each other. We've had more than our share of fights. We've moved far too many times together and now live 3,000 miles too far apart from each other. There was a time when I could not wait to be out of the same house as them...when I was jealous of my only child friend...when I was eager to be grown up and apart. Now I miss them more than words can say. Washington, DC, is a very long ways from Chino, CA.

Many of my California friends will never really know my sisters. For those of you who do, you know just how true this statement is: my sisters are courageous. My sisters are strong. My sisters have overcome significant odds and are truly amazing women.

One sister courageously left everything she knew behind and faced a journey to take back her life. She has grown exponentially in the past year. She is discovering how much she is really worth and how truly amazing her life is going to be. The possibilities are endless.

My other sister (not to be confused with "The Other Sister") has endured more in her years than most do in an entire lifetime. She is a survivor. However, she is not satisfied with just surviving. She is changing her world. She stands when everyone else would cower in fear. Actually she does more than stand. She fights. She keeps moving forward and moving up. The doors of opportunity are just now beginning to open and the world hasn't seen anything yet.

My sisters...truly amazing. Deeply inspiring. Absolutely strong.

It's All About Perspective

I've been having one of those weeks. You know the week I'm talking about...the one where every day feels just a bit off. It seems that everyone is a bit more negative or touchy or critical. Drivers are more ridiculous. Customers are more exhausting. Minor annoyances seem monumental. Ring any bells? Let's just say I am more than happy to say good bye to this week and hello to the next.

I feel a little discombobulated this week. Perhaps it is my sugar and soda withdrawal kicking my butt. Perhaps I am emotionally sensitive this week. Perhaps I am overwhelmed by the expectations I place on myself. Whatever the reason, I do not quite feel at home in my present circumstances. That is not a feeling I welcome or enjoy even slightly.

As I was driving home from work tonight, I was mulling over the events of the week. Analyzing what I have said or done and what those around me have said or done and what that means for my future...over-analyzing would probably be a more accurate description. I drove home completely overwhelmed by my feelings of inadequacy and angst. I was hoping to walk into my home feeling exactly that...HOME, peace, calm, rest. However, I felt the exact opposite.

As I was ranting and raving, (ask my BFF about the ranting), I simply said, "God, I can't do this anymore. I can't be here. I need it to change." Right then the still, small Voice that had been speaking to me all day finally broke through my chaos.

Relax. Take a deep breath. Stop seeing things through your eyes and let Me show you what I see. I see promise and potential. I see victory and abundance. I see peace and possibility. I see lives changed because of who you are and where you are. Rest. Let Me do the work. Let Me bring the breakthrough. It's not up to you.

Inhale. Exhale. Rest. Tomorrow is a new day and my God promises new mercies and unfailing love.